Feelin’ myself a lil :)

Taken January 9, 2015 - Such a transformation when I look back to my lowest point in 2009
February 9, 2015 

 

I haven’t taken a good close up photo of myself in quite awhile, and since my face has been so great I decided to celebrate that!

My skin has been doing really great lately… literally from my ankles up are clear and doing very well.  I’m still experiencing some itchness on my hands, lower part of my arms and lower part of my legs, but its becoming less and less in severity as I heal.  I keep telling myself, “it’s just my feet left, just my feet! Keep on pushing, continue staying faithful and positive.”  It’s amazing when I look back to photos, especially from 2009 when I was at my lowest point as far as physical and mental health.  I had months of chemo behind me, my hair was super short from chopping it off due to some of the hair loss I was experiencing, I barely had any eyebrows from scratching them off, my skin was brittle, super dry & itchy, dark and gray.  I had lost a significant amount of weight… the lowest I’ve ever been and I was just so unhappy with life, but trying to force on a smile.  You can see more photos of my transformation on the My Story page.  Now my skin is better than ever, (although its still got a tiny bit more to go) and I know that besides withdrawing from the topical & injected steroids, implementing my plant based diet and whole food supplements have helped in assisting healing.  My skin is so much healthier, my gut health is amazing, the whites of my eyes are brighter, my hair is stronger and shinier and even my nails are stronger!  I attribute this all to living holistically and feeding my body the best possible nutrients to heal through this process. 🙂

Currently, I’m still sticking it out at home… my feet are still in recovery mode (still slightly oozy, swollen at times, and I have this super painful sore on the BOTTOM of my foot… ugh) which makes it hard to put on socks and shoes because they will confine my foot to a tight space and irritate them which will set back the progress I’ve made thus far.  Although this is the current situation I’m in, I’m still pushing through everyday, and giving thanks for this process.  I’ve seen the transformation with my own eyes, and I have pictures to prove it… just that alone gives me gratitude.  It shows that as everyone likes to say, “healing happens” it just takes time… but when you can look back and see the transformations… it’s just amazing!

So yea, I’ve been feelin’ myself a lil, and I wanted to show off my most recent photo of myself! ❤

Overtime, I’ve truly learned to accept the process, surrender to it and keep the faith.  In this I’ve learned to love myself in whatever state I’m in at the moment, and know that I will only be better and better as time goes on!

-Jen

 

Just because & YAY for eyebrows :p

 

2015!!! Looking Forward to an Awesome Year of Healing!!!

Happy New Year!!!

I love the feeling of “new beginnings” and “a clean slate”.  I actually like to look at my birthdate as my New Year.  🙂

Although we don’t need a specific date on the calendar to tell us that we can start fresh, it’s nice to have a date where everyone celebrates together at the wonderful new beginnings of the future.  When you really think about it, we can choose any second of any day to start anew.  It’s just a conscious decision to change it up and work on ourselves.

2014 had its ups and downs for me, but I’ve made a conscious decision to let those things that I wasn’t able to accomplish or the rough times that I had went through health wise (and are continuing to go through) not get me down.  I’ve decided to keep on looking forward and let go of all the opportunities I may have missed out on, the people who may have disappointed me, and all the negative energy and bad vibes that may have came my way.

2015 will be a year of complete healing!  I can feel it that this is truly the end of this healing process and I won’t be going through this at all this time next year!  I like to “call things into existence” and I’m definitely calling this one in.  I want to be in the best health of my life, fully living my life and enjoying new experiences and opportunities this year.

I usually like to say that right now I’m 90% of the way there in my healing with just my feet left to restore.  The rest of my body from my ankles up is so much better from where it was years ago.  My natural oils are coming back, the thickness is smoothing out, the discolouration is evening out, I’m rarely itchy on the rest of my body, my face is insanely smooth and clear… even the wrinkles under my eyes are fading away!  I’ve seen the transformation of my skin, and I know that my body is recovering and healing!  I have nothing but gratitude for this rough journey, because it has taught me so much about myself, that our bodies are amazing at healing themselves, and has made me more spiritual with a closeness to God.

I mention that I like to say 90% of my body… but if I’m going to speak things into existence then I should say, “I’m completely healed! 100%!”.  I’ve learned that we must “CALL THE THINGS THAT AREN’T AS IF THEY ARE”.  So I’m claiming complete healing, and by this time next year, when I post my overview of 2015 on the first of Jan 2016, I’ll have nothing but awesome things to say about the past year!

I’m wishing everyone a blessed New Year of strength, healing and love! ❤

-Jen

A little journal entry from last year around this same time…

I had just realized that around this time last year I was finally coming into a break from my summer long flare.  I had been housebound for most of the duration of my flare, and actually moved from North Carolina to New York at the end of August.  From then up until October I had been housebound.  It was so frustrating because I was finally back in my favourite city, and all I wanted to do was be out and about and live my life.  Once I started to see that the hell was ending for a little while I was motivated to feel normal and live my life again.  At the time I was working on this blog, but didn’t have enough information yet to really make it live.  My cousin actually encouraged me to document my experience of “leaving my apartment for the first time” (lol) and to post it on my blog.  It’s hard to describe the experience in words, but I try to in this little journal entry that I’d like to share with you all…

Continue reading “A little journal entry from last year around this same time…”