A little journal entry from last year around this same time…

I had just realized that around this time last year I was finally coming into a break from my summer long flare.  I had been housebound for most of the duration of my flare, and actually moved from North Carolina to New York at the end of August.  From then up until October I had been housebound.  It was so frustrating because I was finally back in my favourite city, and all I wanted to do was be out and about and live my life.  Once I started to see that the hell was ending for a little while I was motivated to feel normal and live my life again.  At the time I was working on this blog, but didn’t have enough information yet to really make it live.  My cousin actually encouraged me to document my experience of “leaving my apartment for the first time” (lol) and to post it on my blog.  It’s hard to describe the experience in words, but I try to in this little journal entry that I’d like to share with you all…

October 13th 2013 was a milestone for me.  It’s hard to believe that I hadn’t physically been out of the apartment since I moved here on the 25th of August!  I truly felt like someone being released from prison!  My friends were coming over for a visit and I had been debating on if my feet were going to be in good enough condition to venture out.  The skin has been healing so lovely, but there are still some open wounds near my ankle, so I definitely had some hesitation.  Before they reached my neighborhood, I tried to put my foot in these suede moccasins that I have.  Unfortunately, they were just too tight to put on and I didn’t want anything rubbing up against those irritated areas.  I ended up just wearing the slip on Addidas sandals that I’ve been using around the house.  I had to put my feelings of “I hope no one looks at my feet” aside and just go for it!  I mean I was in the comfort and presence of my best friends and I wanted to get out, so I took this opportunity to do so.  I told them that I’m coming down the stairs, we’re going out for brunch instead of ordering in!  Of course I had to make a goofy spectacle of it, so as I was walking down the outside steps of my apartment, I was looking around as if I’ve never seen the light of day!  My friends were laughing hysterically at my foolishness, but also very proud of me for literally taking these small steps to a new victory in the whole healing process.  The drive to the restaurant was quite nice, just taking in the sites, seeing what’s in my neighborhood and keeping my eyes peeled outside the window.  I don’t know if they fully knew how special this was for me… I guess no one can truly know what it feels like unless they are in the situation.  The restaurant was wonderful, it was a vegan and gluten free spot my friend had found called Sun in Bloom.  The food was fantastic, and my friends (who are meat eaters) even enjoyed it, it’s somewhere I would definitely go back to.  We split an appetizer of gluten free pancakes with maple syrup and shitake “bacon”, and for my entree I had a plate of tofu scramble, black beans, portabella mushrooms, quinoa, sweet potato fries and steamed collard greens all with a miso dijon sauce.  (Of course I just had to go into detail about my meal haha!)  We had a great time, catching up, taking pictures and just enjoying each others company.  I hadn’t felt any discomfort the whole time we were there except for a slight moment when we were getting in the car to come back.  This day was so wonderful and I was so filled with gratitude and happiness for having done all the hard work to get to this small accomplishment.  I’m looking forward to just getting better and better from this point on.  The next steps are to be able to shower with out the shower boots and put on socks and shoes!!  It’s so funny how simple all of these things sound; going outside for a walk in outside appropriate shoes, putting on socks, showering comfortably without having to wear shower boots.  I’m so appreciative for this healing experience, and I know that I’m just going to not take anything for granted anymore… in the future I’m going to be extra thankful that I’m able to walk about outside without discomfort, be able to wear shoes, be able to take steps without feeling like my skin is pulling apart, be able to shower normally… the list goes on!  I think that’s just one key to happiness; being grateful for the goodness that is in your life.  I feel that once people can connect with that, we can be kinder, more understanding human beings.

Of course, like a true foodie photo stalker I had to take a pic of my meal… tofu scramble, quinoa, black beans, sweet potatoes & collard greens all with a miso dijon sauce!  Sun in Bloom, Brooklyn.

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